I think my vagina is haunted
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
