I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Buhtt sex?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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