just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My feet surprised me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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