So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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