You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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