I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
