When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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