walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
