I'm drive I can fine osifer
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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