guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
