Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
