i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
