I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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