I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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