Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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