you would pick up someone in the library
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
