You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
