I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
