Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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