And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
