guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
