false alarm. still invincible.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
