At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
