Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
