Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
