I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
