Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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