we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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