just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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