Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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