I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
