i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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