No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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