Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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