I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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