I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
