Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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