You really coming over, don't trick.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
