Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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