we have officially lost it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
