We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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