Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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