Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just high enough for therapy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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