You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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