last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
