If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
