Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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