I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
