i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
