My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
