found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
