I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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