he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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