You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
