I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
