Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize