I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
