i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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