sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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