you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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